Am I crazy? Will anyone believe it? People listen but they don't understand. No one will ever understand. No one but me, and him. They lie but it's just to placate me. To be kind. They nod and say "Yes yes, that's terrible" like I'm a child telling a story. Is it that hard to grasp? That hard to believe? I feel like I'm crazy. I feel like I'm insane. I feel like a monster.
please, please listen. please, please believe me. please, please understand. please, please, please. i beg of you please. please, please listen. please, please believe me. please, please understand. please, please, please. i beg of you please. please, please listen. please, please believe me. please, please understand. please, please, please. i beg of you please.
Do they really like me? Do they care for me? Any of them, any of them at all? Do they just say these things to not feel guilt. Do they just watch my pain with apathy from afar, only reaching out when I'm on the brink so my death isn't on their conscience, to tell themselves they tried? Do any of them like me? Enjoy my company? Truly and wholeheartedly think I am worth existing?
just tell me just tell me just tell me just tell me just tell me just tell me just tell me just tell me just tell me just tell me just tell me just tell me just tell me just tell me just tell me please im dying im dying im dying im dying im dying im dying im dying im dying im dying im dying im dying im dying im dying im dying im dying im dying im dying im dying
I can feel him. Every night I feel him. I hear his voice in my head, I feel his arms around me. I feel him watching me inside my own head. I can't escape, I can't run away, he lives inside me now. Forever and always haunting my every heartbeat. I feel these chains around my neck, around my wrists, dragging me down every step, every breath. I can't get free. I'll never be free.
i miss him. why do i miss him? he hurt me, he broke me, he ruined me. i love him. why do i love him? he hurt me, he broke me, he ruined me. i miss him. why do i miss him? he hurt me, he broke me, he ruined me. i love him. why do i love him? he hurt me, he broke me, he ruined me. i miss him. why do i miss him? he hurt me, he broke me, he ruined me. i love him. why do i love him? he hurt me, he broke me, he ruined me.
They always talk when I'm not there, not around. They have their own groups, their voice chats, their secret time away. They're talking about me, I know they are. They're getting away from how annoying I am, how much a nuisance I am. How I always say the worst things, how I upset them. How I'm too much, I never leave them alone, I'm an irritating presence. I'm not invited because I am unwanted.
im sorry im annoying im sorry im irritating im sorry i make you feel bad im sorry im me im sorry im me im sorry im me im sorry im me im sorry im me im sorry im me im sorry im me im sorry im annoying im sorry im irritating im sorry i make you feel bad im sorry im me im sorry im me im sorry im me im sorry im me im sorry im me im sorry im me im sorry im me im sorry im annoying im sorry im irritating im sorry i make you feel bad im sorry im me im sorry im me im sorry im me im sorry im me im sorry im me im sorry im me im sorry im me
I have too many issues, too much trauma, too much baggage. I'm too hard to love. Nobody wants a broken girl. Nobody wants someone battered and abused. Nobody wants me. I try and I try to get better but nothing works. I'm a lost cause and people can see it. They try for a while but when I don't improve they give up, as they all do. They see what they all do. That I'm unsalvageable. Just too broken.
i try i try so hard i try. im sorry i fail, im sorry i cant fix myself. ive lost too many pieces. im sorry. i try i try so hard i try. im sorry i fail, im sorry i cant fix myself. ive lost too many pieces. im sorry. i try i try so hard i try. im sorry i fail, im sorry i cant fix myself. ive lost too many pieces. im sorry. i try i try so hard i try. im sorry i fail, im sorry i cant fix myself. ive lost too many pieces. im sorry.
I want to die. I want to bleed. I want to scream and stab myself and let the blood pour out of me. I've thought of all the ways to do it. I could do it so peacefully but I don't want that, I want violence. I want my death to be as horrific and painful as my life. I want everyone to see my pain through my blood. They don't see it through my tears so maybe they'll see it in my blood. I want to throw myself from the highest rooftop or shoot myself where all can see. My hanging corpse drifting in the wind as my screams echo in the night.
let me die let me bleed let me die let me bleed let me die let me bleed let me die let me bleed let me die let me bleed let me die let me bleed let me die let me bleed let me die let me bleed let me die let me bleed let me die let me bleed let me die let me bleed let me die let me bleed let me die let me bleed let me die let me bleed let me die let me bleed let me die let me bleed
I want to be skinny, I want to be thin, I want to be pretty. Every day I see myself in the mirror, my broad shoulders, my hideously male shaped body. I can't stand it. I want to be cute, small, a girl. I want to pass, I want to be thin and actually feel good about myself. Would he have stayed if I was skinny? If I was prettier? I need to starve myself, it hurts so bad all over but I need to.
dont eat dont eat whatever you do dont eat dont eat dont eat dont eat whatever you do dont eat dont eat dont eat dont eat whatever you do dont eat dont eat dont eat dont eat whatever you do dont eat dont eat dont eat dont eat whatever you do dont eat dont eat dont eat dont eat whatever you do dont eat dont eat dont eat dont eat whatever you do dont eat dont eat There's this person I met recently a few months ago. I... really like them a lot. Every time we talk I get butterflies in my stomach and they make me so happy to know. Everything about them is so perfect, we like all the same things and they're so funny. But I think they like men more, and don't feel that way about me anyway. Besides, there's someone else involved. Oh well...
give me a chance, please, please just one chance. nobody ever give me a chance, never. give me a chance, please, please just one chance. nobody ever give me a chance, never. give me a chance, please, please just one chance. nobody ever give me a chance, never. give me a chance, please, please just one chance. nobody ever give me a chance, never.